my job is me

Trying to explain to people where I’m at in my life at this moment is quite challenging.

I’m no longer responsible for anyone – – no husband, no partner, no children, no house, no huge responsibilities tugging on me.  I rent a space to live in.  I paid off the student/parent loans.  I own expensive* toys and I live a fulfilled life. {*I say this not to be pretentious but to make a point that I have earned nice things through hard work.}

I’m digging deep into my emotional life to make sure that it doesn’t manifest itself into some sort of disease or ailment.  I’ve purged a lot of negative out of my life, mostly people.  I consistently try to stay in a positive mindset.  Taking control of my life.  Accountability > huge my book.  “Braving the Wilderness”, literally.

Along the way, I encourage any attempt at inspiration / growth in as many people as I can whether they be close friends or strangers.  Is there anything more rewarding than mentoring someone?  To be trusted to advise is the ultimate compliment.

I keep my body strong through a high level of exercise, adventure, and yard work (!).  I shall always be adept and at the ready to explore the world at a moment’s notice.  Being a pack mule carrying more luggage than I should when I travel, keeps those muscles in shape.

My eyes never stop seeing the beauty of the world.  Rarely am I without some sort of photographic device in preparation to capture said beauty in which I may share my view.  Pure, unadulterated joy found here.

Because my job is me doesn’t mean that I’m self-absorbed.  On the contrary, I believe in myself enough to care for this vessel ~ to keep it strong and healthy ~ mentally and physically.

Not having what society calls “a regular job” is difficult for people to understand.  Their judgement is harsh, especially from the men I date.  Not sure if I can equate it to jealousy or the fact they think I am a slacker but nothing could be farther from the truth.  I am always working.

Why must I explain this to people?  When I do, the explanation seems so . . . lame.  They never seem to quite understand and the disapproval behind their eyes crushes my spirit.  “I’m not good enough.”  

The reality is I am my job.  In order to be employed by anyone, I must be clear-minded and able-bodied to be the best employee possible.  It matters little how often I work, because as I stated, I am always working:  training, seeking, hustling, meditating, traveling, expanding, writing, shooting, editing, phone calls/emails/social media connecting, feeding my body, feeding my mind, feeding my soul.  It’s all work that takes commitment, tenacity and a solid belief in yourself.

Let them judge.

My job is me.





© 2019 by dailyn matthews

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